So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize