We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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