True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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