defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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