sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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