Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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