Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
