Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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