Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
