Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize