Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
