this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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