If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
