If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize