i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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