Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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