I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
