he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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