Her vagina should come with caution tape.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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