i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
