If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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