LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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