I just threw up on my dentist
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
