ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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