what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
