He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
