FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
