I bet he comes in French.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
