Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
