So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize