I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize