I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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