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this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
