it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
