Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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