went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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