It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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