marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I smell stomach acid.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
