he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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