I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
