singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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