hotel room ftw
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
