Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
