i was born a porn star she said
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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