Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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