I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
