barbara walters just said penis...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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