At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
