Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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