how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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