apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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