absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
