He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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