remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize