dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
