you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
