btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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