When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
