just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
