Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
