please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
