Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
