Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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