margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize