There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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