he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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