i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
