I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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